Microsoft Rewind: 5 Ads Far Funnier Than 'Laptop Hunter'

IDG News Service — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:02:23 -0400

Microsoft's "Laptop Hunter" ads are under the microscope this week. Microsoft's chief operating officer, Kevin Turner, reportedly said Apple's legal department called to complain about the commercials. Apple, Turner's quoted as saying, claimed the spots were based on outdated pricing information and were therefore inaccurate.

Love 'em or hate 'em, the "Laptop Hunter" ads have certainly gotten their share of attention. Still, we think Microsoft's done better in the past. We dug up five old ads -- some real, some internal company jokes -- that we find far more amusing. See if you agree.

1. MicroSex

Even Jerry's Conquistadors can't compete with the action (or lack thereof) depicted in this steamy spot. Thank God this kind of technology hasn't actually caught on.

2. Yo! MSF Raps

The magic of MC C:\Prompt has yet to be matched in any recent Microsoft creation. Nostalgia aside -- man, you can almost taste their excitement over that 45k of memory! -- the campiness of this DOS 5.0 promotional video is tough to beat.

3. Cry Me a River

Ah, the bad breakup speech -- can't you just feel that PC's pain? Don't fret, outdated secondary-market computer; there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Like the bra girl from that first ad. Go get 'er, tiger.

4. Windo...Wait a Minute. What?

This may be the best commercial Microsoft has ever made. I can only hope the strange little dude in the glasses has gone on to a bright career as a spokesperson for some nice mental institution.

5. The Balm Bomb

File this one under "Why Steve Ballmer Doesn't Do Microsoft Commercials": This 80s-era Windows 1.0 demo, to put it bluntly, makes Winger look like a modern act. From the plaid jacket to the Miami Vice reference, you've got the foundation for one dangerous equation. Add in the migraine-inducing enthusiasm for Windows Paint and Reversi, and -- well, see for yourself.

Connect with JR Raphael on Twitter (@jr_raphael) or via his Web site, jrstart.com.