Intel's "25 random things" proves grownups are ruining Facebook

If you need proof that the "25 Random Things About Me" Internet game has jumped the shark, login to Facebook and read the personified entry Intel posted this week. It has already been a month since the New York Times reported on the fad, but it looks like Intel has decided its the right time to jump on the back end of this meme.

Besides being a bit tardy, Intel's list is written awkwardly in the first person -- as if Intel was some sort of self-aware entity: "My processors are found in more than 80 percent of the world's PCs."

The marketing in Intel's list is so brazen that I'm sure the company won't mind me pasting the entire list below for readers without Facebook accounts. See #6, which explains why you should buy a new PC. Or #14, "I am the largest purchaser of green power in the U.S."

Note to Intel: As the kids say: "ur doin it rong." You were supposed to tag 25 people and/or personified brands on Facebook to continue the chain letter. Why not start with your frenemy AMD?

Intel: 25 Random Things About Me

1. My co-founder Robert Noyce, a guy who coined the phrase “Don’t be encumbered by history…go off and do something wonderful,” co-invented the integrated circuit, which celebrates its 50th anniversary this year, and his charismatic personality influenced the rise of the archetypical Silicon Valley entrepreneur ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Noyce, (http://www.intel.com/pressroom/archive/releases/20050616corp.htm).

2. Although my co-founder Gordon Moore is best known for his observation “Moore’s Law” that plotted the doubling of transistors on a computer processor about every 18 months, I’m most proud of his work through the Betty and Gordon Moore Foundation he founded, through which he has donated millions of dollars to philanthropic endeavors. (http://www.intel.com/technology/mooreslaw/?iid=SEARCH, http://www.moore.org, http://www.intel.com/technology/mooreslaw/index.htm)

3. Many of my employees have the unique ability to construct almost entire sentences out of acronyms, as in “DHG SLRP ARs include new PORs and WW TAMs.”

4. I created a dictionary for my employees that explain what our acronyms mean.

5. I host “Wild Wednesdays” at my headquarters site in the summer with BBQ lunch and “Robert’s Noise Band" playing during lunch.

6. WiPro consulting has determined that it costs more than 30 percent more to support a four-year-old PC than a new one, while replacing a three-year-old desktop PC with a notebook with my processor and management features can reduce energy consumption 26 times according to testing performed by my Performance Benchmark and Competitive Analysis group. (http://cache-www.intel.com/cd/00/00/33/54/335457_335457.pdf)

7. My lab workers get free bunny suits (and I don’t mean for Halloween); other employees have to beg, borrow or steal. (http://www.intel.com/education/cleanroom/index2.htm)

8. I may have one of the world’s largest cube farms – all employees have cubes, even my CEO doesn’t get an office.

9. My processors are found in more than 80 percent of the world’s PCs, according to Mercury Research.

10. We have a process called “constructive confrontation” and “open door policies” where I expect employees to openly discuss their differing opinions and beliefs – even with their bosses and senior executives. (http://executiveeducation.wharton.upenn.edu/ebuzz/0803/thoughtleaders.cfm)

11.“Only the Paranoid Survive” isn’t just the title of an important business book from the 1990s and a famous saying from my co-founder Andy Grove but an important mantra that still

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