CHEAT SHEET: The Word on the Week
THE BREAKFAST AND THE FURIOUS Webvan finally shut down. And as it sells off its assets, watch out, pedestrians. No doubt the company's vans will be the summer's hottest illegal street racing vehicles. CREAM OF SALARY And with Webvan in Chapter 11, former CEO George Shaheen won't likely get the $375,000-a-year retirement package he won during his ouster. Two words for you, George: Hamburger. Helper.
THEY'VE GOT ISSUES Investment banks are under fire to bar analysts from owning stocks they cover. Analysts should also stop writing reports with titles such as "Mmm, Lucent, You Look Good in Them Tight Jeans" and "Intel's Chips Melt in the Mouth, Not in the Hand."
WATCH THE FUR FLY A Connecticut professor wants to produce and clone cats that don't make people sneeze. Why go through the trouble? Just wrap your cats in duct tape, count to 3, and yank like the dickens.
| QUOTED "He will have to get in line with the rest of our creditors." - Webvan spokesman Bud Greybey, on how its closure will affect former CEO George Shaheen's contract clause that gives him $31,250 a month for the rest of his life (Reuters) "They know that my job is to read everything I can and get irritated as much as I can and splutter for them on a daily basis." - Me-zine editor Andrew Sullivan on his alliance with online magazine Slate (New York Times) "The company has been walking around with a big sign that says 'Stop us before we pay again.'" - Computer Associates shareholder Nell Minow on the need to shake up the software giant's management, known for fat executive pay packages (The Industry Standard) |
YOU'VE GOT SEVERANCE
How do the French say "you're fired"? Mostly by e-mail. More than 70 percent of French companies facing layoffs this year sent the coup de grace electronically, says a study by human resources consulting group Towers Perrin.
Quelle horreur, say French politicians. Prime Minister Lionel Jospin has spoken out against the practice of layoff-by-e-mail, calling it inhuman. In June the French parliament passed a law making it more difficult. E-firing has been known to occur in the United States. Last month staffers of indie film company Shooting Gallery found this missive in their inboxes: "We regret to inform you that your employment is terminated effective immediately." So far, American politicians have not objected. - Kristi Essick
| HE TYPED, SHE TYPED | ||
| Don't try to fool Susan Herring. The professor of information science at Indiana University can tell whether an e-mail was written by a man or woman by reading only a few lines. "People actually exaggerate their gender online," says Herring, who has been studying sex differences in online communication for 10 years. Here are some of the tell-tale signs to watch for. - Liz Krieger | ||
| If you see... | It's a ... | Because ... |
| If I'm soooo tired | woman | Weakness for
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